Why badassery is imperative.

Until a few weeks ago I was wondering whether to change the name of my blog from Project Badassery. I was considering whether the idea of badassery, particularly for a middle-aged woman was a bit naff, and also an anachronism.

Why should I need to feel ‘badass’? Where does the ‘don’t mess with me’ idea come from, and isn’t it a bit of an outdated and redundant concept? Who do I need to fight – either physically or metaphorically?

Wrapping up training for physical strength with being badass is just trying to make going to the gym sound more rock’n’roll when it is in fact a very pedestrian activity, isn’t it? Being mid at powerlifting: isn’t this invented rebellion just tilting at windmills?

By one interpretation, yes. Lifting a heavy weight is no more meaningful than having fights with imagined enemies in the shower. But that’s to underplay the importance of how a feeling of physical strength translates into simple confidence. It’s not just about physical health, it’s about a feeling of competence, personal power, emotional agency and mood regulation.

The definition of badass on dictionary.com is described as assertive, independent, tough, uncompromising.

I have had a privileged life by global standards, I have had the freedom to do whatever I wanted, where and when I wanted. So who am I fighting against exactly?  The patriarchy has had no part to play in my life (surely) so why is it relevant to feel the need to be badass?

New clarity
‘Recent events’ aka the release of the Epstein files asked some fundamental questions of society to which the answer is that badassery by, and in support of, women is still 100% required.

It turns out that an elitist patriarchy does in fact exist in the societies that we have been told were equal. It is real. According to the Epstein files women are dismissed, objectified and/or hated by a scarily large proportion of the most powerful men that run our world, including spiritual gurus and health/longevity influencers.

In amongst this depressing realisation and amongst the ‘muck’, as Melinda Gates called it, women that are badass are standing out for me even more. Firstly Melinda Gates – admirably badass for recognising and calling out Epstein’s evil and publicly quoting him as one of the reasons for her divorcing her own husband.

I am also interpreting anew the lives of two female public figures who are currently having a renaissance but who were previously subjected to much criticism as they tried to live their lives. Both Tracey Emin and Linda McCartney are shining lights of how to own your own power, even as society or media criticises or mocks you.

So as an ordinary person, if being physically strong helps you feel emotionally strong too, that is reason enough to do it. If it helps you walk into a room and feel more powerful and confident, that is good. If it helps you to have the confidence to stand up for yourself, obviously that is good. If it helps you to rise above feelings of inadequacy, invisibility or self-doubt then this in itself is a small improvement in the status quo. Some positive energy into the world, even when it might be fuelled, in part, by anger.

So when we post our gym lifts on Instagram or put a fire emoji under someone’s new pb or call someone badass this is not just tilting at windmills. We’re asserting ourselves as actors with agency to manage our own lives even whilst we know there is more to do ‘in the real world’.