Badasses might seem like they should be immovable, resolutely strong and solid, a bit like being hewn out of rock or marble. But in fact, like my squat form, I found that once I had loosened up a bit I actually became stronger.

So now I realise that in life too, strength actually involves flexibility, adaptability, adjusting, flowing. Of the NEO Big 5 predictors of good leadership, being open to experience, being comfortable with ambiguity, and being agreeable are considered really important factors for success.

A long gym streak (of always turning up and always doing it) in a way can become too restrictive and too unbending. Being immovable is a huge weakness, because of course we can’t always demand that everything is the same. Sustaining an injury, or illness, is the hardest lesson for that.

So, for me, in a desire to be consistent and build a ‘new’ me that does the hard stuff, I may have developed a control freakery that doesn’t serve me when the ability to flex and adjust is actually what’s needed.

I’ve been writing about competing in powerlifting again and I (theoretically) have a competition coming up this summer. Next week though I have to pause for almost three weeks for a long-planned, long-haul trip to see family which means that I won’t be in full training mode for the first time in a long time.

I can see a scenario where I manage to really muck it up and get the worst of all worlds, and piss everyone in my family off in the process, including myself.

They have gyms in Sydney, of course, but this is a family trip and trying to stay in any kind of powerlifting routine will be pretty futile and possibly counter-productive (jet lag, stiffness from travel, not much kit). And of course I want to do all the fun outdoor stuff.

So my looped thinking has been running something like this….

• It is going to be ok not to train for a couple of weeks or so. Repeat.
• I am not going to lose all strength and memory of lifting in a fortnight. Repeat.
• You will be ok not being in your usual routine of training. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
• You are not going to fuck up in the summer because you rested now. Repeat, ad nauseam
• Be grateful for being able to go on an amazing holiday with your family to visit relatives. I am.

But the fact of not easily being able to step out of my gym routine is clearly the problem here. And this could apply to any scenario where I am not in control of when I train, and how often.

I can see that.

I am dismayed at how rigid my thinking is on this, that whilst I try to be flexible in my approaches to some things and open to new ideas and experience, I am in fact currently straight-jacketed in, and by, my own attitude to my gym routine.

Unless I can sort this out, and quickly, I have actually made my stress reliever (strength training) a source of stress.

So this post is about developing a more rational response to any or all life events that could interfere with our training or other goals that isn’t all or nothing thinking.

LET’S TAKE THIS RIDICULOUS PRESSURE OFF…..

Using REBT (Rational Emotional Behavioural Therapy) methodology here helps; it’s all about trying to work out what the demand is. Demands are always irrational, because demands can never be true, logically, and are therefore to hold a demand is only ever a cause of stress. I have been learning about this in sessions with Daniel Fryer, Author, and mental health and wellbeing consultant.

So here is my REBT take on my current anxiety:

• What is the Activating event: I am going away and the thought of not being able to train properly is making me anxious.
• What is my Demand: I MUST ALWAYS be getting stronger.
• Is this true? No, it is not possible to always be getting stronger. That’s not how the world works. I can’t guarantee that will always happen (holidays, injury, illness, rest, work, family?) so making this a demand is just going to be a path to unhappiness.
• Is it helpful? No, because it is not possible to always get stronger so I am going to be very disappointed a lot of the time if this is my demand.
• Does it make sense? No, because progress is never linear. Obviously taking a break will not impact me in the long term because I have trained so much and so hard for the last 6 years.

Instead, when I come back it might take me a little while to get up to speed but it WILL NOT be like starting again. In fact I might enjoy it more for having taken a little break.

THERE. RATIONALITY RESTORED.

Luckily, I never claimed to have the answer to being badass…. and my next post may well be a tourist’s write up of Sydney Harbour or Bondi Beach.

In fact, that would be best.

I want to write the happy ending to this long-haul trip because even wannabe badassess need to chill sometimes.

Especially them, actually.